What you need to do before you meet with an estate planning attorney
Estate planning preparation means gathering information about what you own, who you want to leave it to, and who you trust to carry out your wishes. You do not need a lawyer to start this work — in fact, doing it beforehand makes the lawyer's time shorter and less expensive. Most of the preparation is writing down facts you already know and making decisions you have probably thought about for years.
The goal is to walk into a lawyer's office with a clear picture of your situation, not to arrive empty-handed and expect the lawyer to figure it out. This guide covers what information to collect, what decisions to make, and what documents to have on hand before your first appointment.
Key Takeaways
- Gather a list of all your assets — bank accounts, real estate, investments, vehicles, and items of sentimental value — with current values and account numbers.
- Write down who you want to inherit what, and be specific: name the person, describe the asset, and note whether you want equal shares or unequal ones.
- Choose the people who will handle your estate after you die (executor), make medical decisions if you cannot (healthcare proxy), and manage money if you become unable to (financial power of attorney).
- Locate existing documents like deeds, mortgage papers, investment statements, and any wills or trusts you may have already created.
- Bring a list of debts, monthly expenses, and insurance policies so your attorney understands your full financial picture.
Make a complete list of what you own
Start by writing down every asset you have. This includes bank accounts (checking, savings, money market), investment accounts (stocks, bonds, mutual funds, retirement accounts like IRAs and 401(k)s), real estate (your home, rental properties, land), vehicles (cars, trucks, motorcycles), life insurance policies, and items of significant value (jewelry, art, collectibles). Include the approximate current value of each and the account number or location.
Do not skip small things. A savings account with $500 still needs to be listed. A car paid off years ago still needs to be named. The point is completeness, not just the big-ticket items. If you have a safe deposit box, write down what is in it and where the key is kept.
Many seniors find it helpful to create a straightforward spreadsheet or table with columns for asset type, description, location or institution, account number, and approximate value. You do not need to be exact — your attorney will help you refine the numbers later. The goal right now is to make sure nothing is forgotten.
Decide who gets what and name your executor
Write down who you want to inherit each asset or group of assets. Be specific: instead of "leave money to my children," write "leave $50,000 to my son Michael and $50,000 to my daughter Sarah" or "leave everything equally to my three children." If you want to leave something to a grandchild, a charity, or a friend, write that down too.
Think about whether you want equal distribution or unequal. Some people leave more to a child who has less money. Some leave a specific amount to one person and the rest to another. Some leave certain items (like a wedding ring or a house) to specific people. Write down your reasoning if it is not obvious — this helps your attorney understand your intent and can prevent confusion or hurt feelings later.
Choose an executor — the person who will carry out your wishes, pay your debts, and distribute your assets after you die. This is often a trusted adult child, a sibling, or a close friend. You can also name a professional executor like a bank or trust company, though this costs money. Write down your first choice and a backup in case the first person cannot or will not do it. Ask them beforehand if they are willing.
Choose people for healthcare and financial decisions
If you become too ill or injured to make decisions, you need someone you trust to make them for you. Choose a healthcare proxy (also called a healthcare power of attorney or medical power of attorney, depending on your state) — someone who will make medical decisions if you cannot. This person should know your values about end-of-life care, whether you want life support, and what quality of life matters to you.
Choose a financial power of attorney — someone who can pay your bills, manage your accounts, and handle money matters if you become unable to do so. This is often the same person as your healthcare proxy, but it does not have to be. The financial power of attorney can act while you are still alive, which is useful if you have a stroke or develop dementia.
Talk to these people before naming them. Tell them what you are asking them to do and why you chose them. If they say no, choose someone else. If they say yes, tell them where you will keep important documents and passwords so they can find them if needed.
Gather existing documents and account information
Find any documents you already have: deeds to real estate, mortgage papers, car titles, insurance policies (life, home, auto, long-term care), bank statements, investment statements, and any existing wills or trusts. If you created a will or trust years ago, bring it so your attorney knows what you have already done.
Make a list of all your accounts and where they are held. Include bank names and branch locations, investment firms, insurance companies, and retirement account custodians. Write down account numbers if you have them. Your attorney will need to know where your money is so nothing gets missed.
If you have a safe deposit box, write down which bank holds it and where the key is. If you have important documents stored elsewhere — with a family member, in a home safe, or in a filing cabinet — write down the location. Your attorney needs to know where to tell your family to look after you die.
List your debts and monthly expenses
Write down what you owe: mortgage balance, car loans, credit card balances, medical debt, or any other loans. Include the creditor name, the balance, and the monthly payment if there is one. Your executor will need to pay these debts from your estate before distributing money to heirs.
List your monthly expenses: mortgage or rent, utilities, insurance, groceries, medications, property taxes, and any other regular bills. This helps your attorney understand whether your estate is large enough to cover your debts and final expenses, and whether there will be money left to distribute.
If you have significant debt and a small estate, your attorney may recommend strategies to protect assets or reduce what creditors can claim. If you have a large estate and small debts, the picture is simpler. Either way, your attorney needs to see the full financial situation.
Organize information about your family and beneficiaries
Write down the full names, dates of birth, and current addresses of everyone you might leave money to: adult children, grandchildren, siblings, or friends. If any of your potential heirs have special circumstances — a disability, a substance abuse history, financial problems, or a difficult marriage — mention that. Your attorney may recommend a trust or other structure to protect their inheritance.
If you have minor grandchildren you want to leave money to, write down their names and ages. You will need to decide whether to leave money to their parent to manage, set up a trust for them, or name a guardian to manage the money until they turn 18 or 21.
If you want to leave money to a charity, write down the charity's legal name and what you want it used for if possible. Some people leave a specific dollar amount; others leave a percentage of their estate.
Prepare a list of digital assets and passwords
Write down your digital assets: email accounts, social media accounts, online banking, investment accounts, cryptocurrency, digital photos stored in the cloud, and any online businesses or income sources. Include the usernames and where you keep passwords (in a password manager, a notebook, written down somewhere).
Your executor will need to access some of these accounts to notify contacts, close accounts, or transfer digital assets. Some accounts have specific rules about what happens after death — Facebook can memorialize an account, Gmail has a legacy contact feature, and some financial institutions have procedures for digital access.
You do not need to write down passwords in your preparation materials to bring to the attorney. Instead, write down where the passwords are kept and who should have access to them. Your attorney will advise you on the safest way to store this information.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need to have exact dollar amounts for everything before I meet with an attorney?
No. Approximate values are fine for your first meeting. Your attorney will ask you to get exact statements later if needed, but starting with rough numbers helps them understand the size and complexity of your estate. If you have a $2 million house and $500,000 in investments, that is enough information to begin.
What if I do not know who I want to leave my money to yet?
Tell your attorney that. You do not have to decide everything before the appointment. Your attorney can explain your options — leaving money to children equally, leaving money to a spouse, setting up trusts for grandchildren, leaving money to charity — and help you think through what makes sense for your situation.
Can I change my mind about who my executor is after I sign my will?
Yes. You can create a new will that names a different executor, or you can change your will through a document called an amendment. Tell your attorney if you think you might want to change things later. Wills and trusts are not permanent — they can be updated as your life changes.
Should I tell my family members what I have decided before I meet with the attorney?
That is your choice. Some people tell their family beforehand so there are no surprises. Others prefer to keep it private until after they die. If you are making unequal distributions, telling people beforehand can prevent conflict, but it can also create hurt feelings. Your attorney can discuss the pros and cons with you.
What if I do not have much money — do I still need an attorney?
That depends on your state and your situation. Some states allow straightforward wills to be created without an attorney. If you own real estate, have a business, have minor children, or want to set up a trust, an attorney is usually worth the cost. If you have only a small bank account and no real estate, you may have fewer options to prepare, but talking to an attorney can still be helpful.