Start with your location and what you can spend
Memory care facilities are not listed in one searchable database. You will need to search by your city or county, then call each place to ask about current openings and costs. The fastest way to build a list is to start with your county's Area Agency on Aging — they keep a registry of licensed facilities and can tell you which ones have memory care units. You can find your local agency at Eldercare Locator (1-800-677-1116) or by searching "[your county] Area Agency on Aging" online.
Before you call any facility, know your budget range. Memory care costs vary widely by region and by the level of care provided. In some areas a facility might cost $3,000 to $5,000 per month; in others it could be $6,000 to $10,000 or more. Ask upfront whether the facility accepts Medicaid, Medicare, or long-term care insurance — this determines whether cost is a hard barrier or a flexible one. Many facilities have a waiting list, so starting your search early matters even if you do not need placement right away.
Key Takeaways
- Your county's Area Agency on Aging keeps a list of licensed memory care facilities and can tell you which ones have current openings.
- Memory care costs vary by region and facility type, so call three to five places to understand what is available in your budget range.
- Ask whether each facility accepts Medicaid, Medicare, or long-term care insurance before you visit, because this affects what you will actually pay.
- Visit facilities in person and ask to speak with a current resident's family member — they will tell you what the place is really like day to day.
- Some facilities have waiting lists that can be months long, so register early even if you are not ready to move yet.
How to search for facilities in your area
Start by calling your Area Agency on Aging and asking for a list of memory care facilities near you. They will give you names, addresses, and phone numbers. You can also search online using "[your city] memory care" or "[your county] assisted living with memory care," but online results often include facilities outside your area or ones that no longer operate. The Area Agency list is more reliable because it is maintained by the state.
Once you have a list of five to ten facilities, call each one and ask: Do you have a memory care unit? Do you have an opening now or a waiting list? What is the monthly cost? Do you accept Medicaid or Medicare? Some facilities will transfer you to an admissions coordinator; others will give you basic information and ask you to visit in person. Write down the answers so you can compare later.
If you live in a rural area and the nearest facility is far away, ask your Area Agency whether any facilities offer respite care (short-term stays) or day programs instead. Some people use these as a bridge while waiting for a permanent placement closer to home.
What to look for when you visit a facility
Do not choose a facility based on a phone call or a website. Visit in person, and visit more than once if possible — go at different times of day to see how staff interact with residents when they think visitors are not watching. Walk through the memory care unit itself. Look for find exits (residents with advanced dementia can wander), locked medication storage, and staff who seem calm and unhurried.
Ask to speak with a family member of a current resident, not just staff. A family member will tell you whether staff respond quickly when called, whether the facility actually does the activities it advertises, and whether they feel their relative is safe and treated with dignity. If the facility refuses to connect you with a family member, that is a warning sign.
Ask about staffing ratios — how many residents does each staff member care for during the day and at night? Ask what happens if your relative has a medical emergency or a behavioral crisis. Ask whether the facility has a doctor on staff or whether they rely on outside physicians. These details matter more than the décor.
Understanding costs and payment options
Memory care facilities charge a monthly base rate, but there are often additional costs. Some charge extra for medication management, wound care, or specialized dementia activities. Ask for a written fee schedule that lists everything included in the base rate and what costs extra. Do not assume two facilities with the same base rate will cost the same by the end of the month.
If your relative has long-term care insurance, bring the policy documents when you visit — the facility's admissions staff can tell you whether they are in-network and what the insurance will cover. If your relative is a veteran or the spouse of a veteran, ask whether they may be may be able to access for Aid and Attendance benefits, which can help pay for memory care. Your Area Agency on Aging can point you toward a Veterans Service Officer who can explain this.
Medicaid covers memory care in many states, but the process is complex and varies by state. If you think Medicaid might be an option, ask the facility whether they accept it and whether they can explain the process. Some facilities have a Medicaid liaison who walks families through the steps. Do not assume you know whether your relative qualifies — the rules change and depend on income, assets, and state law.
Red flags and what to do if you have concerns
If you visit a facility and notice residents in soiled clothing, locked doors without emergency exits, or staff who seem overwhelmed or dismissive, leave and do not return. If a facility pressures you to pay a large deposit before you have visited or before your relative has been assessed, that is a red flag. If staff cannot clearly explain their approach to dementia care or their medication management process, keep looking.
If you have already placed your relative in a facility and you notice changes in their behavior, unexplained injuries, or signs of neglect, report it to your state's long-term care ombudsman. Every state has one, and they investigate complaints about nursing homes and assisted living facilities. You can find yours by calling the Eldercare Locator or searching "[your state] long-term care ombudsman."
When a facility is full or too expensive
If every facility in your area is full or costs more than you can afford, ask your Area Agency about alternatives. Some counties have adult day programs where people with dementia can spend the day in a supervised setting while a family member works. Some have in-home care services that can be paid for through Medicaid or Veterans benefits. Some have respite care programs that offer short stays so family caregivers can rest.
If you are on a waiting list, ask the facility how long the wait typically is and whether you can register now even if you do not need placement for months. Some facilities will hold your spot on the list at no cost. Ask whether they offer a trial stay or respite care so your relative can get used to the place before moving in permanently.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I know if my relative needs memory care instead of regular assisted living?
Memory care is for people with moderate to advanced dementia who need help with daily tasks and supervision because they may wander or forget to eat or take medication. If your relative can still manage most self-care tasks and does not have significant behavioral changes, regular assisted living may be enough. Ask the facility's nurse or social worker to assess your relative before you decide.
Can I move my relative to a memory care facility without their consent?
If your relative has been diagnosed with dementia and a doctor has determined they lack the mental capacity to make decisions, you may be able to move forward as their legal guardian or power of attorney. If they still have capacity, they have the right to refuse. A social worker at the facility can help you navigate this conversation and may suggest a trial stay first.
What should I do if I find a facility I like but they have a long waiting list?
Ask to register now and find out how long the typical wait is. Some facilities will hold your spot at no cost. In the meantime, explore day programs or in-home care to manage your relative's needs. Ask the facility whether they offer respite care so your relative can stay for a week or two while you arrange the permanent move.
Do I need to visit multiple facilities before choosing one?
Yes. Visit at least three facilities so you can compare costs, staffing, activities, and how staff interact with residents. Each facility has a different culture and approach to dementia care. What works well for one person may not work for another, so seeing multiple options helps you make a choice that fits your relative's needs and your family's values.
What if I cannot afford any facility in my area?
Ask your Area Agency about Medicaid coverage, Veterans benefits, or state-funded programs for low-income seniors. Some facilities offer sliding-scale fees based on income. Ask whether your relative qualifies for Supplemental Security Income or other benefits that could help pay for care. A social worker can help you explore these options.